


Control

by thefoxwoman



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon, Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Denial of Feelings, Drabble, F/F, Feelings, Kaiou Michiru Angst, POV Female Character, Useless Lesbians, Yearning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:33:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29495856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thefoxwoman/pseuds/thefoxwoman
Summary: There's an internal struggle for control when we choose to love another person. How much of yourself, your responsibility, do you lose to your soulmate? A long look in the Mirror, leads Michiru to contemplate her mission.quick drabble
Relationships: Kaiou Michiru/Tenoh Haruka
Comments: 1
Kudos: 7





	Control

No one's going save you, but especially not her. You need to remember that. Dating is hard enough. Dating-right now- takes another toll. With everything collapsing around you and all of the uncertainty it brings, you can't help but place what energy you have into a new relationship. But that won't do you any good.

You have a mission, declared by Fate, designed by the Universe. This is no moment for distraction, no moment for feelings. No matter how unfair it is to place on a teenage girl, who has dreams and ambitions of her own.

She says, "Do it without me." It's clear that she's fine on her own, doesn't like that the gods tell her what she's destined to do. So, she's doing it all on her own, living her life, unaware of how much you need her to help you.

And you have too much pride to ask her to help you. You don't want her to see the interior-the swirling vortex of shame, guilt, desire and vulnerability. It's a frightful fall into the world's largest whirlpool. It twists and turns and maybe you get a glimpse of fresh air but as soon as you think you have it, it's gone, taken away and you're stuck sliding inside of something, carried by the current.

This new order makes you feel like you're deteriorating. But also, you feel shame. Because it's the easiest thing to do. You remember your training from the past, you can feel the power in your fingertips. Taking out monsters should be easy. Finding the threat to this planet, to your princess should be a cakewalk. You've been blessed with the powers and the tools, and yet you can't help but feel as if you need a partner in order to do this.

Crap. You looked at the mirror, hoping to see her face. Maybe she changed her mind? Likely not. Maybe she'll want to talk? Definitely don't think that. You're embarrassed that she called you out on wanting to be romantically involved while the two of you have a mission. Part of you is fixated on how she told you that she thinks feelings are a waste of time. That's how you want to appear, but it's no use. You're deep and full of feelings. All the time. You've got so many feelings. So much time to waste.

The mirror is showing something else. A car garage, a human transforming, something evil, something bad. You're sitting alone staring at the mirror and you see her, walking straight into it. Of course, you think wryly, the monsters will be where she is. You may not be able to fight her conceptual demons, but at least you can try to protect her from the actual ones on her doorstep. You lift your arms to the sky, you feel the power of the world's oceans course through your veins, and you channel that energy. Strength in vulnerability, that's always been how you fight. And now, when it's time to fight for the love of your life (even when she won't accept it!), you relinquish your need to control those feelings. Those feelings are what will save her, and eventually, what will save you.


End file.
